Long Distance Relationships: Can They Work?
TMJ4 Ask The Expert Interview, October 2018
In today’s digital world, people are more connected than ever—and long distance relationships seem to be a more realistic option than they were in decades past. Professional Matchmaker Erika Kybartas appeared on TMJ4 to discuss how to navigate a long-distance romance and set yourself up for success.
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Long Distance Relationships do have their challenges, but with free calling plans, texting, and other forms if digital communication, daters have never been more likely to succeed. Here are a few tips for best success:
Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.
- There’s a conversation that has to happen before you commit to a long distance relationship.
- Determining your level of commitment is the first step. Is it exclusive? Or are you allowed to see other people?
- You should also decide how often you will visit each other, and who will visit whom. This doesn’t have to be set in stone, but managing this expectation upfront is important to the relationship’s long term success.
Keep the lines of communication open.
- Lives are made up of a million little moments, and those are important to share with your partner.
- If you don’t have unlimited texting, download a free messaging app.
- Fill them in on the day-to-day details of your life so they feel involved.
- Send photos or videos of what you are doing throughout your week, whether that be the delicious dinner you just made or a shot of you enjoying a walk with a friend.
Flirt with each other
- Chemistry is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples.
- Keep it alive when you are apart by sending flirtatious or provocative texts to your partner
- Let them know you’re thinking about them
Get face-time whenever you can
- Many long distance daters make a point to see each other every 2-3 weeks.
- If this isn’t possible, utilize video chat and share an activity. Perhaps eat dinner together over your laptops, or “e-hang” while watching the same movie or show. Shared activities, even over the internet, are still key.
- When you do visit each other, make sure to block that time off for your partner. Clear your schedule of mundane tasks that you could do another time.
- It’s not always quantity of time, but quality of time.
Build and Maintain Trust
- Trust is the foundation of any relationship, but especially important in a long distance one.
- Again, keep the lines of communication open. If you are experiencing a lack of trust, talk to your partner about it. Be honest about your feelings!
- If you are presented with an activity that may make your partner uncomfortable, either pass on that activity or be upfront with your partner that you will be participating in it so they feel included.
- Do not be careless with your partner’s trust because once it is destroyed, it is hard to recover.
Have A Goal for the Future
- Long distance relationships are a temporary situation.
- Be upfront about what your expectations are for the future
- Determine a timeline until the next step. This could be 6 months, a year, or even two years.
- While nothing is set in stone, it’s always best to have some sort of a game plan in place