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Say Goodbye to Bad Dating Habits!


TMJ4 "Ask The Expert"

As we get ready to say goodbye to summer, it may be time to finally start saying “so long” to your bad dating habits! Matchmaker Julie Amann from It’s Just Lunch says now’s the time to STOP focusing on your deal breakers... and START focusing on your deal makers.

What are the most common deal breakers for men and women?
According to a recent survey, the number one deal breaker for men is a date who is disheveled or sloppy. For women, the number one deal breaker is a date who is lazy. And both men AND women agree that a date who is too needy is just too much work.

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“The #1 deal breaker for our clients at It’s Just Lunch is negativity,” says matchmaker Julie Amann. “Women pick up on a date’s negativity very fast -- in the first 10 minutes. Meanwhile, men are drawn to women with a positive outlook.” She added, “Smoking is still a big deal breaker. Politics and religion are also deal breakers.”

Why should singles stop focusing on their deal breakers?

“We always advise our clients at It's Just Lunch to look at the positives instead of negatives. No one is perfect”, says Amann.

Start looking for and appreciating a potential partner’s positive character traits. Focus on your “must-haves” instead of your deal breakers. Don’t focus so much on one bad trait that you lose sight of five good ones.

Another key piece: don't fall into the “I can fix him (or her)” trap. As a professional matchmaker, Amann found that most people, especially those who are older than 30, are set in their ways. She suggests “Focusing on finding someone who is more aligned with your lifestyle”.

So how do we drop these dating bad habits and make a fresh start in the new year?

Throw Away Your List
We all want certain things in a partner, but Amann would advise her clients not to stick so closely to it that they miss out on someone who might have potential.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
If you’re doing the same thing every day -- same coffee shops, same restaurants, same bars, same gym -- you’re not going to organically meet the person of your dreams if you haven’t already. Shake things up. Try out new places, activities -- open yourself to new opportunities.

Be an “Invested” Dater
If you’ve been in the dating pool longer than you like, it’s easy to get discouraged. But do your best to be enthusiastic about each new opportunity. Amann tells us her clients aren’t just testing the waters; they’re ready to date. “Whether they’re in their 20's -- or their 70's -- their commitment to the process is the same. Be proactive and want to find the right person for you!”

Ask The Expert: How to find your own Prince Charming.


Julie Amann on WTMJ

All eyes are on England this month as Prince Harry ties the knot with Meghan Markle! While royal wedding watchers will be glued to every detail, singles may be wondering how they can find their own real-life “Prince Charming”.

Professional Matchmaker Julie Amann recently visited the set of WTMJ’s “Ask The Expert” to dish on how to attract a real-life version of your perfect partner without getting lost in the fairytale.

Read the full article >

Does “Prince Charming” really exist?
While it worked for Meghan and Duchess Kate, let’s be real -- many of us have kissed our fair share of ‘frogs’ looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. While daters are looking for their perfect partner, it’s important not to get caught up in the fairytale. Beware of looking for someone who checks every box on their list. The reality is, people are more complicated than that, and singles should focus on compatibility, not perfection.

How can daters create realistic expectations without compromising too much -- and still find the person who’s right for them?

Forget the Fairytale
Prince Harry probably isn’t perfect in real life, so forget the fairytale! This can be tough, especially if you’re a romantic -- but all relationships take work, and people aren’t characters in a movie. Visualizing an ideal mate may help you figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship, but it can also prevent you from connecting with a real person. Thank goodness, you don’t have to be perfect, and neither does your future partner.
It’s fun to dream big, but real love is action not fantasy.

Look before You Leap
After you ditch the fairytale ideal, be sure you say yes to opportunities for dates, even if someone doesn’t tick every box on your list, they could still end up being a great match for you. Then focus on really getting to know the other person and give yourself enough time to find out if you are truly compatible before either calling it quits or labeling them “The One”.

Be Your Own Hero
One of the traps of looking for “Prince Charming” is thinking that someone else can rescue you from an unhappy life. We are all responsible for our own happiness! Before you can look for Prince Charming, you need to love yourself and be your own hero. That means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and creating a life you love. Then you’ll begin to attract the right people with your confidence. Ultimately, the goal is for two healthy and happy people to make each other’s lives better.

Where should singles look for their version of “Prince Charming” in the real world?
If you’ve been disappointed with your dates, you may need to switch things up! If you still haven’t met that perfect person at the gym, the grocery store or your favorite coffee shop, it’s time to try a new approach. Break out of your comfort zone and go new places. Push yourself to start up conversations and try new experiences. You never know who you might connect with when you do that.

Ask the Expert: Surprising dating turn-offs in 2018



Whether it's been a while since you've been out on a first date or you're a seasoned pro, there are some definite do's and don'ts for dating success.

Read the full article >

January is considered “breakup month:” The best ways for you to go your separate ways



MILWAUKEE -- Did you know people are twice as likely to break up between now and Valentine's Day than any other time of the year? Professional matchmaker, Julie Amann with It's Just Lunch, joins Real Milwaukee with the best ways to split.

Read the full article >

On the road for work and finding love



In 2010, Heleen Devos, a native of Belgium who works in corporate social responsibility and communications for a French energy company, was heading to Cuba for a United Nations climate change conference.

“I had seen him and found him handsome,” Ms. Devos said dreamily of a Chilean in her row. Yet she was unsure of his relationship with the older woman next to him.

Read the full article >

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